


Don't Let Me Go

by andromedagalaxy



Category: Eyewitness (US TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-25
Updated: 2017-02-25
Packaged: 2018-09-26 18:39:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9915800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andromedagalaxy/pseuds/andromedagalaxy
Summary: This is a little alternative take on what happens after episode nine, because I wrote it after I saw episode nine and panicked. It's an AU concerning what exactly went down with Ryan, Anne isn't dead and the boys don't have their first time in the motel.Basically, this is Philip and Lukas dealing with PTSD after their ordeal and sticking together.





	

All Philip can see is the dead body on the forest floor. It didn’t seem like the man ever could die, and Philip stares at him like he might rise up again and keep coming for them. Like he could be dead and buried, moldering and falling apart and still come back to finish the job. Philip stares at him and can almost see it, his corpse falling apart as he reaches for Lukas’s throat—

“—look at me,” Lukas says, turning Philip’s face towards him. His hands are shaking but he smooths his thumb over Philip’s cheekbone, tipping his chin up a little higher. “Philip, can you hear me?”

Philip can’t make himself nod, can’t find his voice and he can only vaguely feel Helen kneeling down next to him, touching the bloody spot on the back of his head. He can’t stop looking at the man, his blank eyes. It was so close, too close, all too goddamn close and he can’t believe it’s over. Can’t understand how it’s possible. His head is pounding and his eyes flick over to find Helen’s. It feels like he’s drowning, sinking underwater and he tries to tell himself it’s over, it’s over but the sentiment won’t stick. He wonders if that man knocked something loose when he hit him, or if his brain stopped working properly when he thought he was going to watch Lukas die. He can’t hear Helen speaking and he tries to catch his breath—Lukas grabs at him, pulling him closer, and Philip does all he can not to collapse into his shoulder. He presses his face into the material of Lukas’s shirt and finds himself trembling more, the tears stinging at his eyes when Lukas wraps his arms around him.

“What happened?” Philip hears Helen asking. She sounds scared, her voice wavering, and that just makes Philip feel worse.

“He hit him with his gun,” Lukas says, lighting touching the spot. “In the back of the head.”

Philip closes his eyes tight and huddles closer against Lukas. He’s so afraid the man is gonna get up, any second now, any second, and Philip wants to scream about the gun, tell them to take the gun away from the body because it’s still in his hand, he can still use it. But Philip can’t speak, his voice is gone, stuck so deep in his throat that he isn’t sure when the hell he’ll be able to use it again. 

“The paramedics are on their way. But they’ll probably put you in different ambulances—”

“No,” Lukas says, when Philip’s heart dips. “No, no, I wanna stick with him.”

“Lukas—”

“Please, okay?” Lukas asks, and Philip can feel the depth of his words against his cheek. “They can look at us both at the hospital but I don’t want to be split up.”

Philip wishes he could speak up. Could turn to Helen and hug her, thank her. But he can’t goddamn move. 

“I’ll see what I can do,” Helen says.

“Thank you,” Lukas says. “Just—thank you. For everything.”

Philip doesn’t hear her say anything else and after a moment Lukas is rubbing his back, pressing a kiss to his temple. His breath is hot and Philip shifts so he’s burying his face into Lukas’s neck. “It’s okay,” Lukas whispers. “She got him, Helen got him—he’s gone. He’s not gonna hurt us anymore.”

Philip’s head hurts and he feels cold. Like he did die, like the man got them, got them both, and all this is some vision in the moments before he’s gone for good. He shakes harder at the thought and Lukas holds him tighter. He runs his hands through Philip’s hair, trying not to touch the bloody spot.

“Please talk to me,” Lukas whispers. “Please say something.”

Philip breathes a little faster and clutches at Lukas’s shirt. “Just—” he croaks, hardly recognizing his own voice. “Just don’t—don’t let go of me.” He knows Bo is going to be around soon, plenty of nurses and doctors, Rose and Lukas’s friends once they hear what happened. Philip can’t even imagine having to act like they aren’t what they are. Not after all of this.

“I won’t,” Lukas says, so softly. “Not ever again, okay?”

Philip feels a surge of warmth go through his chest and he nods, closing his eyes as Lukas presses a kiss to his cheek.

~

Lukas is sleeping in the hospital bed across from Philip’s own, and it’s the first time in hours that they aren’t touching each other. Philip keeps looking over at the door, sure, sure, sure that Ryan Kane is going to walk through it. Gone cold and waxy now, still intent on finishing what he started. 

“Philip,” Gabe says, touching his arm. “You alright?”

“Yeah,” Philip says quickly, swallowing hard. “Yeah, I’m—I’m alright.”

Helen scoots a little closer on his other side, glancing over her shoulder to eye the open door. “You want me to close it?” she asks.

He doesn’t know what’s worse. Having it closed and not being able to see who’s coming or having it open and getting no warning. 

“You can talk to us, Philip,” Helen says, exchanging a look with Gabe. “We want you to. I want you to.”

He cracks his jaw, his throat going a little tight. “I know—I know it’s irrational,” he says, sinking a little further into the pillow. “But it feels like…it keeps feeling like he’s not gone. Like he’s going to come back and get us even though…even though he’s—”

“Even though he’s dead?” Gabe asks.

“Yeah,” Philip says, a chill running down his spine. “I keep seeing him dead and still coming after us. Like not even death is gonna stop him.” He feels stupid saying it out loud and crosses his arms over his chest. 

“It’s perfectly normal to think things like this after suffering a trauma like you and Lukas have,” Gabe says. “But you need to know you’re safe now.”

“You don’t have to worry about a body,” Helen says, clearing her throat and looking down at her hands in her lap. “There won’t be one for much longer.”

Philip can see the pain on her face, can hear it in her voice. “Are—are you okay?”

She looks up after a moment, smiling slightly at him. “I will be,” she says, looking at Gabe briefly before her eyes settle on Philip again. “I’m just—so thankful you’re safe, that both of you are.”

“And you are safe, Philip,” Gabe says. “It’s all over now.”

 

About an hour later he and Lukas are alone, and Philip can hardly close his eyes without seeing what Lukas looked like out there in the forest, with a gun to his head. He swallows over the lump in his throat and pulls the blanket up to his chin. He only has a mild concussion and he knows they want to keep an eye on Lukas for a little while after what happened, but Philip hopes they’re not gonna be here for much longer.

“Philip.”

He pops an eye open and sees Lukas smiling over at him. “You okay?” Philip whispers.

“Yeah,” Lukas says. “Can you come over here?”

Philip isn’t hooked up to anything and he hopes he doesn’t look too desperate when he pushes the covers back and pads across the cold tile to stand beside Lukas’s bed. Lukas scoots over and pats the empty space next to him. 

“You don’t think they’ll care?” Philip asks, anxious to jump at the chance. 

“I don’t care if they care,” Lukas says, shaking his head. 

Philip gets into bed and they both lay on their sides, Lukas wrapping his arms around him and pulling him close. Philip touches the spot on Lukas’s chest where he knows there’s a bandage underneath the hospital gown and he feels Lukas’s hand in his hair. He’ll never get tired of being this close to him.

“How’s your head doing?” Lukas asks.

“Aches, but it’s okay,” Philip says, trying to breathe him in. “How about you?”

“Feel better now,” Lukas says, kissing his forehead. 

Philip sighs, and knows he wouldn’t mind the hospital so much if they let them share the same bed all the time. “Is your dad doing…better with all this?”

“It’ll take him a while,” Lukas says. “But he’ll get there.”

“And you’re…doing better?” Philip asks, almost afraid to breech the subject. “With people knowing?”

“Yeah,” Lukas says, tracing a hand up and down Philip’s arm. He stares down at him and sometimes Philip can’t believe the intensity in Lukas’s eyes, how he could read everything he feels there if he really took the time to look. “Every time I think I’m going to lose you things become clear,” Lukas says. “What’s important and what’s not. And since we’ve gotten through this, survived some…psychopath trying to murder us, I feel like everything else just doesn’t really matter anymore. I’m just…hurting both of us trying to pretend that I’m not in love with you.”

Philip’s heart rattles in his chest and he can’t help the smile that spreads across his face. 

“What?” Lukas asks, trying to suppress a smile of his own. “Don’t try to act like that’s news to you.”

It’s the first time in what feels like forever that Philip feels good, feels free. He can’t stop smiling and he reaches up, covering his mouth with his hand, leaning forward and resting his forehead against Lukas’s shoulder. Lukas chuckles a little bit, drawing him closer. “You’re so fucking cute, babe,” Lukas says, and Philip can feel his fingers winding around his neck, pressing down on the spot where his pulse is beating fast. 

“Shut up,” Philip says, a little muffled. 

Lukas leans down, kissing the spot next to Philip’s ear. “I love you,” he whispers. 

Philip kisses the hollow at the base of Lukas’s throat, nuzzling his nose there. “I love you too.”

~

_Kane is dragging them out of the trunk, ripping off their bindings and forcing them to walk. Philip reaches out and squeezes Lukas’s hand before he makes his move but his stand doesn’t last long—Kane knocks him in the head with the gun and he sees stars, the pain so thick that he drops immediately. Lukas gathers him in his arms and Philip can hardly see, tries to focus on him. Kane points his gun at the back of Lukas’s head._

_“Don’t look,” Lukas says, his voice shaking. “Don’t watch, Philip.”_

_“Lukas,” Philip says, dizzy, his name so familiar and soothing on his tongue even though the world is about to end._

_Kane shoots him and the blood splatters across Philip’s face, Lukas falling forward into him—_

Philip lurches up in bed, gripping around his throat. His vision is blotchy and his chest is heaving and he can’t breathe, can’t breathe, he’s choking and sobbing Lukas’s name when he feels someone moving beside him.

“Philip,” Lukas says, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and pulling him close. “Philip, relax, relax, it’s okay.”

Philip tries to focus on his voice but he keeps seeing him shot, seeing him dead and he squeezes his eyes shut, rocking back and forth.

“Baby, breathe, breathe,” Lukas whispers, resting his forehead against Philip’s temple. “It’s okay, it’s alright, you’re with me. You’re here, you’re with me, we’re alright.” He kisses Philip’s cheek twice in quick succession. “Shhh, it’s okay. It’s okay.”

“You’re okay,” Philip gasps. “You’re okay.”

“I’m fine, I’m here,” Lukas says, peeling Philip’s hand away from his stomach and kissing his knuckles, holding his hand against his mouth. “Nightmare?”

“Yeah,” Philip says, his voice small. He doesn’t know what they’re gonna do when they leave here and have to sleep in different places. If these kinds of dreams keep up he knows nobody but Lukas is going to be able to calm him down. He hates how he’s acting, wishes he could be stronger and snap himself out of it. 

“I had one earlier too,” Lukas says, squeezing Philip’s shoulder. “I didn’t want to wake you up.”

Philip sighs, turning a bit to face him. “You can next time, alright?”

“Yeah,” Lukas says, nodding at him. “I just, uh—watched you sleep for a little bit.”

Philip feels the warmth wash through his chest again and he leans forward, pressing their foreheads together. 

~

“Thanks for letting me stay, Mr. Caldwell,” Lukas says, sitting on the couch in their living room three days after they got out of the hospital. “We, uh—aren’t doing so well on our own.”

It’s a complete understatement. Philip was having nightmares so raw and painful that he nearly ripped off his own skin. After one particularly bad one he sat under the spray in the shower for nearly two hours until Gabe was worried he was drowning himself. Philip knows Lukas has been crying every night, struck into near silence in the face of his dreams.

“Which is completely understandable,” Gabe says, looking at Helen. “And we don’t mind if you sleep in the same room as long as—”

“ _Okay_ ,” both Philip and Helen say at the same time, and Philip can’t even look at her or Gabe knowing that they’ve had that conversation. But Lukas only smiles, nodding at them, and Philip is so goddamn thankful that all the walls are coming down.

“You guys gonna go out and get pizza like you said?” Gabe asks, looking at Lukas. They hadn’t really talked about going out and Philip isn’t sure if Lukas wants to make any kind of debut just yet.

“We don’t have to go out,” Philip says, fast. “We can order something in—”

“I, uh,” Lukas says, clearing his throat and glancing over at him, “I wanted to take you out.”

Philip stares at him, sees Helen pursing her lips at the table like she’s trying not to smile. Philip shakes his head. “Lukas, you—you just got shot like a week ago. We don’t need to go out, I’m not—I’m not expecting anything right now.”

“I want to,” Lukas says, simply.

“Can you even ride your bike?” Philip asks, his heart speeding up a little bit.

“We were gonna call you a cab,” Gabe says.

Philip scoffs, looking back and forth between the two of them, then back at Helen, who holds up her hands. “Were you guys—discussing this?” he asks.

“I plead the fifth,” Gabe says, though the smile on his face gives him away entirely. 

“You wanna go, right?” Lukas asks, softly, looking up and meeting his eyes. 

A grin tugs at the corner of Philip’s mouth. “Of course I want to go.”

~

There are a few other kids at the restaurant and Philip doesn’t know them but he can tell Lukas does. He nods at them when they walk in, the waiter leading the two of them to a booth in the corner. Philip is sure Lukas is gonna sit directly across from him, but instead he motions for Philip to move to the middle, and he scoots around, sitting so close that their legs are flush together. Philip’s heart flutters in his chest, and it nearly bursts when Lukas takes his hand and holds it under the table.

“Really going all out?” Philip says.

“I don’t want this to be all out,” Lukas says, looking down at him. “I want this to be normal.”

The group of kids look at them for longer than they should and start whispering to each other over their table. Philip grimaces and is ready to scoot away as soon as Lukas asks him to, but the question never comes.

“So do we still have a consensus on extra mushrooms after our near death experience or do you want something different?” Lukas asks, smiling. “If you want olives or sausages or anything like that you should tell me now.”

“Let’s just do what we normally do,” Philip says, pressing his lips together because he knows he’s gonna hurt his face if he keeps smiling like this. He rubs the back of his head where Kane hit him and Lukas puts his hand there when Philip’s falls away. 

“Does it still hurt?” Lukas asks.

“Asks the guy who got shot in the chest,” Philip says, raising his eyebrows at him.

“Does it?” Lukas insists.

“No,” Philip lies. “Not really.”

They order and they eat, and it actually feels like a real live alternate reality because Lukas actually stays close to him the whole time, playing with his fingers under the table. When they’re halfway through a tiramisu the bell dings as the front door opens, and when Philip looks up he nearly has a fucking heart attack. He turns his face into Lukas’s shoulder and tries to breathe.

“What?” Lukas says, half panicked. “What, what is it?”

It’s a ghost, a shadow, something that wants to kill them. To stop this, to end it, to take them away. A fucking baseball cap and dark sunglasses.

“It’s not him,” Lukas whispers, holding his hand tight. “It’s not.”

“It can’t be,” Philip says, trying to convince himself. They stay that way for a couple of minutes, Lukas squeezing Philip’s hand. _You’re so stupid you’re so stupid_ Philip keeps thinking. _He’s not gonna want to stay with you if you keep acting this stupid._

“He’s gone,” Lukas says, and Philip pops one eye open to watch the man walk out the front door carrying a brown paper bag. “We’re alright, we’re alright, we’re safe.”

“Goddamnit,” Philip says, leaning back against the seat. “I don’t want to be like this.”

“Everything literally _just_ happened,” Lukas says. “We’re not on any time limit with how we deal with this.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Philip says, rubbing his hand over his chest. He tries to settle his heart down, feels like he’s gonna pass out.

“Hey,” Lukas says, and when Philip looks up Lukas presses a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth. Philip is so taken aback that he doesn’t even close his eyes, quickly glancing over at the table of kids, who are, of course, looking at them. But Lukas doesn’t pull away, keeping their faces close together.

“You’re okay with this?” Philip breathes, as Lukas threads their fingers together under the table. “Being…like this? In front of them?”

“Everyone’s gonna find out sooner or later,” Lukas says, leaning back a little bit to look at him. “You’re the only one that matters, anyway.”

Philip wonders how the hell they got here, all the way here from the first time Lukas kissed him in the cabin. But he isn’t going to run around questioning things.

~

“Look at this,” Lukas says, standing next to the kitchen counter with a big smile on his face. “Oh my God.”

Philip walks over and sees that Lukas is holding a piece of paper in his hand. Philip takes it and scans over the words, which are in Gabe’s handwriting. _Went to a movie that started at 7:20. It’s two hours and ten minutes long with about twenty minutes of previews, fifteen minute drive to and from. See you two tomorrow :)_

Philip snorts, his face going a little hot. 

“He’s the best,” Lukas says. “We really lucked out with him.”

“We he says,” Philip teases, and Lukas reaches out, grabbing him by the hips and backing him up against the counter. They’re just about to kiss when Philip startles a little bit, meeting Lukas’s eyes. “I locked the door, right?”

Lukas turns around and looks at it. “Yep, you did.” He looks at Philip again and there’s something in his eyes—he traces Philip’s cheek with his thumb and doesn’t even kiss him, doesn’t even move. 

“What?” Philip asks, his voice catching in his throat.

“You know—you know you changed my life.”

Philip laughs a little bit. “Yeah, I know.”

“No, no,” Lukas says, shaking his head. “I mean…it was like I was skating through life before. Trying to be somebody else. And you—you saw through me.”

“And then we almost died,” Philip says. “Just had to make your coming out process as eventful as possible.”

Lukas laughs and his smile is beautiful. Philip wishes he would smile like that all the time, so bright and warm and vibrant. He leans in, whispering in Philip’s ear. “You have anything in your room downstairs? You know…”

Philip’s eyes flutter closed and he nods, his hand braced around Lukas’s ribs. “That’s where you wanna be?”

“I like that bed,” Lukas says, grinning against his cheek.

“Okay,” Philip breathes. “Okay, okay, come on.”

Lukas walks behind him, hands still hot on his hips, and every place their bodies touch feels like fire. Once they get the bedroom door closed Philip can hardly turn around before Lukas is kissing him, cradling his face in his hands and bringing their mouths together. The backs of Philip’s knees hit the bed and his legs nearly collapse out from under him. He sits down on the bed and undoes Lukas’s belt, pulling it from the loops and tossing it aside. Lukas laughs a little bit, brushing his hand through Philip’s hair. He eases Philip back onto the bed and climbs in after him.

“Take—take your shirt off,” Philip breathes, tugging on the material at Lukas’s shoulders as he settles between Philip’s legs.

“Mmmm, yes sir,” Lukas says. He sits back on his knees and pulls his shirt over his head, casting it aside. He leans down, pushing Philip’s shirt up his chest, and Philip stretches his arms up above his head so Lukas can tug it the rest of the way off. Lukas drops back down and kisses him, slipping his tongue into Philip’s mouth—Philip can’t help but moan, clutching at his shoulders. Lukas grinds down against him, kissing him senseless, and Philip can’t think straight, can’t fathom anything but how Lukas smells, how he tastes, the way he feels against him. 

“How—” Philip starts, his mouth dropping open when Lukas starts kissing down his neck. He lets out a harsh breath and shuts his eyes tight. “How do you want to do this?” he asks, running all the words together in an attempt to get them out.

“You tell me,” Lukas says, nipping at Philip’s earlobe. “You’re in charge.”

Philip’s gut drops and he tangles his hands up in Lukas’s hair. “I want—I want you inside me.”

Lukas groans and Philip can feel how hard he is every time they move together. “Okay,” Lukas breathes, hot against Philip’s neck. “I want—I want you in my lap. So I, uh—so I can hold you.”

Philip falters a little bit at that, unsure for a moment if he heard him right. But Lukas’s eyes are bright and intent, his cheek burning when Philip reaches up to touch it, and he can’t help but smile when their mouths come together again. “Yes,” Philip breathes. “Yes.”

They’ve never been completely naked together before but it doesn’t stop them, doesn’t slow them down. Lukas fumbles with the bedside drawers and Philip laughs, watching him try to move as fast as he can. He comes back with a bottle and the condom and draws Philip close to him again.

“We’re gonna—we’re gonna do this?” Philip asks tentatively, eager to give him every way out even if he doesn’t want this to end. 

“Yes,” Lukas whispers. “I want you. Fuck, I—I really need you.”

Philip nods, elated, and kisses him. He climbs into his lap and touches him, stroking him once and drawing a moan out of him. 

“I’ve—” Lukas croaks, resting his forehead on Philip’s shoulder, “God, I’ve done some—some research so you gotta tell me if I’m—doing it right or hurting you or anything.”

“Research,” Philip says, smiling and leaning into him. “I love you.”

“Yeah, well—I love you too and…I wanted to be good, okay?” Lukas says, almost defensively, but he smiles, kissing Philip’s collarbone. 

They muddle through it and Philip tries to remember the moment when Lukas first slips his fingers inside him, that look on his face as he tries to read Philip’s expression, when he tries to figure out if he’s doing the right thing. Philip can hardly tell him, can only nod frantically and try not to break.

“Philip,” Lukas says, their foreheads together. “Philip.”

“Ready,” Philip pants, sinking his hand into Lukas’s hair. “I’m—I’m ready—”

“You sure?”

“Yes, God,” Philip breathes. He’s never done this before, neither one of them have ever, not like this, not with each other, but it seems to happen like they’ve been here a thousand times, a million, and he’s guiding himself down, Lukas’s trembling hands on his waist. His breath hitches and he tries to go slow, the pain briefly striking him, but before either one of them know it he’s flush against Lukas’s lap, the two of them staring at each other, wide-eyed. Philip’s mouth drops open and he tries to focus, all his nerves going haywire at how this feels. And he knows it wouldn’t be the same with anyone else.

“Jesus,” Lukas says, the shock still evident on his face.

“You…okay?” Philip stutters, touching his cheek.

Lukas wraps his arms around him, pulling his hips forward a bit. Philip squeezes his eyes shut tight, feeling Lukas’s mouth against his own. He starts to move on his own accord, breathing hard. He rolls his hips and it feels awkward at first even though it feels _so fucking good,_ and he quickly glances up at Lukas to make sure he’s still with him.

“Goddamn,” Lukas breathes, arching his neck a little bit. “You’re so—you’re so beautiful.”

“Fuck,” Philip whispers, groaning when Lukas wraps his arms around him a little tighter and helps him move. Philip closes his eyes.

He’d worried about this. Worried that they wouldn’t be on the same page if they ever made it here, that Lukas would speed through it because he was scared, that things would be different afterwards. That he wouldn’t see him again.

But Lukas draws him closer, smoothing a soothing hand up and down his leg before winding his arms around his waist again. They’re going slow but it’s a deep sort of feeling, so aching and intimate. Philip can’t help but suck in a few desperate breaths, feeling Lukas kiss across his cheek.

“Baby,” Lukas breathes, his voice breaking. “Philip—oh God—look at me. Look at me, I wanna see you.”

Philip’s heart jolts and he opens his eyes. They stare at each other and they feel so close, impossibly close, like nothing could ever wrench the from each other. Philip tugs on Lukas’s hair and Lukas moans, leaning in to kiss him. 

They pick up the pace near the end and Philip knows he’s close because his whole body is tightening up and going taut, trembling under Lukas’s hands.

“Lukas,” Philip gasps. “I’m—I’m gonna—”

“I love you,” Lukas says against his mouth. “I love you, I love you.”

They come apart together and Philip buries his face in Lukas’s neck, his legs straining as he tries to muffle a sob. After they both stop shaking they breathe hard in each other’s space, still wrapped up together.

“Goddamn,” Lukas says, chuckling a little bit and pressing a long kiss to Philip’s shoulder. “God.”

“Yeah,” Philip says, trying to suppress a smile.

 

_There are rotting hands grabbing at him, pulling him off the bed. They yank him to the ground and Philip tries to reach out for Lukas, tries to scream, but the hands pull him under, under, deep beneath the dirt—_

“Hey,” Lukas’s voice says, “hey, hey, wake up, Philip.”

Philip’s eyes snap open and he realizes how sweaty he is. His heart is skipping beats and he’s clutching the sheets in his hands. He’s basically perched on the edge of his bed and Lukas has a hand on his shoulder, his thumb rubbing back and forth.

“Come here, come on,” Lukas says, inching them back towards the wall. 

Philip swallows and moves with him, turning over so they’re facing each other. He still feels the fear behind his eyes and he tries to focus on Lukas’s face. 

“They’re not gonna last,” Lukas says. “These nightmares. Not for either one of us.”

Philip isn’t so sure. He chews on his lower lip and shakes his head. “I don’t know.”

“You know what I was dreaming about?” Lukas asks, smiling a little bit, running his fingers through Philip’s hair. “It was actually good for once.”

“Hmm?”

“What it’ll be like when we live together,” Lukas says, his face splitting into a grin.

Philip feels the world slow down to a halt. “When we—”

“I bet we’ll have a little apartment in the city at first,” Lukas says. “Like, way too small, even too small for two people but it’ll be alright because it’s us. But then eventually we’ll get one of those really nice ones like in the movies, and it’ll be a lot bigger.”

Philip reaches up and tracks his thumb along Lukas’s jaw, smiling and feeling himself settle down. “Did we have the big one in this dream?”

“Not yet,” Lukas says, “but we were looking for it.” His brows furrow for a moment and he looks a little nervous. “You would—you’d want to—”

“Oh yeah, absolutely,” Philip says, anxious to squash any doubt. “I want to live with you.”

Lukas visibly wilts under his relief. “Good,” he says, leaning in and kissing him on the cheek. “You gonna be able to go back to sleep? Helen and Gabe got back a little while ago. One of them peeked inside here, I tried to pull the sheets up so we didn’t look naked.”

Philip snorts, moving closer to him. “Great.” He sighs, kissing the corner of Lukas’s mouth. “You’re still gonna be here when I wake up, right?”

“Of course I am,” Lukas says.

Philip nods and cuddles close to him, closing his eyes again.


End file.
